totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
