Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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