is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
