Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
