On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
