nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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