Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
from now on my penis is your penis
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
