Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
