sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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