bring money and cleavage
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
