i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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