Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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