It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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