is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
