I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
