so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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