just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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