so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
