So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
