we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
