Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
