Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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