HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
