I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
