I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
3 2 1 whiskey
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
