We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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