Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
