He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
