he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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