Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
