i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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