so that wasnt chicken after all
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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