yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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