The maid of honor just puked.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
