I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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