Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
