You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
