my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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