i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
