Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
