My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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