Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
