wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
