there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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