The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
sex in a hospital.. check
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
