saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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