he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
