just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
