Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
