Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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